A Snow Globe Has Less Snow

Outside my living room windows is a white out. I can almost make out the first block of buildings across the river, but that’s it. It doesn’t look cold–at least my windows don’t feel that cold–and there’s little wind, or so I’m assuming from the big, fat snowflakes that are falling more or less straight down.

Ah, finish the edits or turn on the fireplace, pop in The Nightmare Before Christmas, and curl up on the sofa… Decisions, decisions, decisions.

TT #45: Are You a Geek?

Co-worker: I have a question for you. Me: 42. CW: I’m not asking for the answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything. Me: You’re a geek. Only a geek would get that reference. CW: So are you. Me (looking affronted): I’m not a geek. Around here, I’m the Alpha Geek. I wholly embrace my geekiness and superiority that accompanies it. CW: You’re a dork. Me: I’m that too. Are You a Geek? The answer’s yes if you use any of the following quotes in casual conversation. I believe I used 12 out of the 13 listed. Alpha Geek, here. Remember? And brownie points to anyone who knows the origins of the quotes.   Number 1 42. Number 2 So long, and thanks for all the fish. Number 3 Number One. Number 4 Make it so. (Extra points if you combine this with #3.) Number 5 Resistance is futile. Number 6 It’s a good day to die. Number 7 Live long and prosper. Number 8 I have a very bad feeling about this. Number 9 May the Force be with you. Number 10 The Force is strong with this one. Number 11 Time makes all things possible. I can wait. Number 12 You fail me yet again. Number 13 Knowing is half the battle.

TT #44: My Financial Life

My Financial Life A post about finances because I’m about reach a big-ass financial milestone and can think of nothing else but money. (I know it’s pathetic.) Personally, I think my financial achievements are kind of middling, but other people disagree and I get asked regularly how I got to where I am. In fact, I’ve done a few lectures at a local post-secondary institution on this topic, which helped a lot when I compiled this list. (Isn’t that scary? It’s even scarier that the kids pay attention!) Be warned that I do get rambly and boring and preachy. The Non-Technical Stuff Number 1 I set goals. I have one big, all-encompassing goal and many little goals to get me to the Big One. Goals are motivating. You need goals, otherwise you’re just passing time until you find yourself running across a football field with a flesh-eating zombie on your heels (go see Zombieland)–and doesn’t that sound exciting? Whenever I’m about to whip out my credit card, I ask myself whether or not it will help me reach my goals. More often than not, the answer kills the temptation. Sometimes, though, my immediate wants do win out. Hence, the PS3 gracing the fireplace mantle. And what are my goals? The Big Goal is Freedom 55 (I can probably swing Freedom 50–even Freedom 45–but I decided to give myself some buffer room). Little goals in the past included paying for my education (check); living and working in Europe (check); saving for a decent down payment on a home (check); saving for good furniture because I’m not an IKEA kind of girl (check). The current little goals are paying off the mortgage; buying the Honda Fit; reflooring my parents’ house; sending my sisters to Europe; and turning the cash flow on my rental property positive. Number 2 I started early. I knew at the age of 13 early retirement is my nirvana. (Those Freedom 55 commercials were really well done. I didn’t exactly understand the concept of Freedom 55 at that age, but I knew I wanted those idyllic scenes for myself.) Number 3 I reward myself when I reach milestones. Rewards can be anything from time to read a book to buying a new MacBook. If you take all the joy out of money, you’re pretty much guaranteed to fail because no one wants to wait until retirement to enjoy life. And if I reach a milestone and there’s nothing I want for myself, I’ll do something special for my mom, my sisters, and/or the significant other. Making them happy makes me happy. Number 4 I have a money buddy. Basically, he and I have frank discussions about money. The biggest issue with finance is the secrecy surrounding it and the attitude that talking about money is crass. My buddy and I bounce ideas off of each other, celebrate our financial successes or milestones, and keep each other in line. Most importantly, telling him about MY goal makes me feel accountable to HIM, and that is a great motivator. I was never fond of public failures. Number 5 I don’t care what other people think of me. Sticks and stones, and all that. This point is key because keeping up with the Joneses is what got so many people in the UK and US into financial trouble. Personally, I’m okay with people looking down at me because they think I’m financially challenged. I’m actually amused by it. I totally get a kick out of going into a store; having a clerk snub me on the basis of my jeans, hoodie, and sneakers; then going to her co-worker (it’s always women who snub me); and giving him the commission on a new TAG Heuer watch. Number 6 I don’t compare myself to other people. There are simply too many variables involved. Comparing myself to them doesn’t help me one iota because, chances are, their goals are entirely different from mine. For instance, according to Money Magazine, people my age have a median net worth of $8525–which scares me–while someone in my income bracket should be at ~$300k. Uh, yeah. I’m beyond both numbers. Apparently, I’m not normal for either my age or my income bracket. Meh. Normal people are boring. The Technical Stuff Number 7 I plan and budget. A lot. A goal, after all, is just a fantasy until you have a map to get to it. More importantly, I make detailed, ACHIEVABLE plans and budgets. If you make a plan or budget you can’t follow, the inevitable failure will drain your motivation. Save a million dollars in one year? Uh, sure…if you’re Nora Roberts. Save a million dollars over 15 years? With a decent rate of return, it’s definitely doable for the rest of us. Number 8 I track EVERYTHING daily. Sometimes several times a day. How do I know if I’m meeting my plan if I don’t record all my financial activities? Yes, I even record that $2.30 I spent on brekkie. And according to my Excel spreadsheet, I’ve been doing this since I was fifteen. Number 9 I automate as much as possible to simplify my life. My salary, mortgage payment, condo fees, property tax, electricity, cell phone, Internet access, and five credit cards are all set up with automatic (credit for the salary payment) debit directly from my chequing account. And since I’m not a fan of money sitting idle, I arranged my bills to fall on or within a few days of the 15th and last day of every month because those are the days I get paid. I honestly can’t remember the last time I manually set up a bill payment (but I can probably find out if I look at my financial tracking spreadsheet). Number 10 I use credit cards wisely. I use them for 99.9% of my purchases and pay off the FULL BALANCE every month because (1) I get between 1% to 5% cash back on my purchases so it’s like the credit card companies are paying me to buy stuff, (2) I can cancel a credit card if it gets stolen (canceling cash just isn’t the same), and (3) the payment is automated (see previous point) so no worries about late payments when I’m traveling. Number 11 I only invest in things I understand. Dividend funds? Yes. Derivative investments? No. If it fails the elevator pitch, I can live without it. Number 12 I trust but verify. And–this one really annoys my bankers–I read everything before signing anything. If I hadn’t read my mortgage agreement, I would’ve been stuck with a 25-year amortization instead of the 13 I negotiated over the phone. Number 13 I choose to work in a well-paying industry. There, I said it. For me, it’s about the money. Frankly, I don’t get the stigma attached to working for Big Business. No, I’m not curing cancer, but the paycheque from Big Business let’s me donate to various charities, including the Canadian Cancer Society.

Can this Be Considered a White Lie?

I managed to wrangle the next two weeks off of work. Corporate planning is done (sort of; corporate planning is never REALLY done), audit is done, two of my systems projects are done (I’m never getting away from IT, am I?), my United Way time commitment is done…so I said, “Buh-bye, see y’all in two weeks!” And for my boss, I added, “I promise to be back in time to pull together the quarterly financial report.” (I really need to transfer to a new role.)

When people ask where I’ll be going on vacay (BTW, why is there such a stigma with stay-cations? I actually enjoy vegging at home!), I lie and say, “Away from here.” If they press for details, I say New York because my best friend lives there and he’ll back up my story. I know, I know; I’m a bad person. However, if they know I’m staying in town, I’ll get e-mails and phone calls and, once, I actually had a co-worker buzzing from my lobby. (Of course, really leaving town doesn’t always stop the e-mails and phone calls, but I’d have the excuse of not being seven blocks from the office or, even better, out of cell range.)

Anyway, I feel no guilt whatsoever for committing this sin because it’s the only way I can get uninterrupted time to myself. And after working 80 to 100 hours per week since May or so (I can’t remember the exact date because if I keep track, I might cry) with NO overtime pay, I think I can be forgiven.

And is the few extra Hail Marys during confession worth it? I’d say so. This morning I finished marking up the current WIP with my little red pen and after a couple of episodes of BTAS, I’ll make the changes to the electronic copy.

Rule #1: Cardio

It’s no surprise that when everything went to shit, the fatties went first. That poor fat bastard never stood a chance.

Columbus’s (Jesse Eisenberg) quote alone is worth the price of admission to Zombieland. This movie is deadly funny and while there’s plenty gore, it’s not going to make your stomach knot. In fact, I had the munchies afterwards because I burned so many calories laughing.

And my favorite quote from Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson), whom I so love?

Nut up or shut up.

I think I’m going to steal this line for a future book.

Garfield.

That’s the best line from Bill Murray. I won’t spoil the movie by giving the context, though.

Grimlock, Pretty Please?

I’m guessing Michael Bay wrung more money out of DreamWorks because he announced on his blog Transformers 3 will be out July 1, 2011 and not 2012 like he originally wanted. Who needs a break when a studio is tossing a few extra million dollars at you? (How many extra millions? Who knows, but keep in mind he reportedly took home USD$80 million for the first Transformers movie.)

And even if I wasn’t already a Michael Bay fangirl, his snark would win me over:

P.S. Megan Fox, welcome back. I promise no alien robots will harm you in any way during the production of this motion picture. Please consult your Physician when working under my direction because some side effects can occur, such as mild dizziness, intense nausea, suicidal tendencies, depression, minor chest hair growth, random internal hemorrhaging and inability to sleep. As some directors may be hazardous to your health, please consult your Doctor to determine if this is right for you.

It's Snowing!

And only five more weeks until the lifts open and I dust off the snowboard.

(I know I’m a sicko.)

TT #43: When Spell Checker Fails

When Spell Checker Fails or Why I Edit with Real Paper and a Red Pen I’m easing myself back into the TTs, so very little snark commentary today. Frankly, I think the errors are amusing enough on their own. Yes, these examples are from books by big names in the publishing world. And, yes, it is scary the editors didn’t catch these errors because some of them are pretty obvious. Number 1 route canal (no, this story did not take place in Venice or Amsterdam) Number 2 hare’s breath (wow, two for two!) Number 3 the greatest sigh of life (no, this wasn’t during a sex scene) Number 4 her curves pressed to the plains of his body Number 5 horde of jewelery Number 6 your welcome Number 7 loosening thunder (I didn’t realize thunder could be tense) Number 8 reigned in his anger Number 9 imminent scientists (they’re right outside the door) Number 10 eyes slid passed her Number 11 unladylike epitaph (if I wasn’t planning on cremation, I guess I would be okay with “Bee-otch” on my tombstone) Number 12 the patience of Jove (someone skipped Sunday school) Number 13 fulfilled the duel roles of butler and secretary

Web Site Update…Sort Of

I finally updated the web site…by culling stuff from the Free Reads section. I removed pieces that were spectacularly bad and shouldn’t see the light of day.

Then I celebrated by rearranging my dining room-cum-office. After three and a half years, it needed a change. I like the new arrangement, but I need want new furniture. Perhaps a dining table for more seating and an armoire for more storage. I need to hit Modern Country Interiors, my favourite furniture store in Inglewood, and do some planning. In the meantime, I slotted the redecorating into my 2012 budget. Yes, 2012. Why? Because I an anal-retentive, detail-oriented, long-term-planning kind of girl. And 2009 is set aside to pay off the mortgage on the primary residence; 2010 is for the new Honda Fit (and to pay back the RRSPs I withdrew for the condo down payment); and 2011 is for paying down the principal on the rental property…if playing landlord still appeals to me.

I could fit the redecorating into the 2010 budget, but I’m a sicko who enjoys delayed gratification.

Now, if only I can plan the writing like I do my finances…

And It's Not a Train!

First, something off topic: Last night, I was guilted (I know guilt is not a verb) into attending a $1000-a-plate charity function. (It was A LOT of guilt.) I learned that while there’s a HUGE difference in food quality, presentation, and taste between a $100-a-plate dinner and a $250-a-plate dinner, there’s practically no difference between $250-a-plate and $1000-a-plate. I guess at some point food just can’t get any better (that’s such a sad revelation)–and I guess the charity should get a portion of the donation for its cause.

Moving on…

Every time people say they see a light at the end of a tunnel, my pessimistic self always wonders if it’s a train. Yeah, sometimes I’m just a joy to be around.

But not today. Today, I’m finishing off that final scene and I’m printing out the manuscript in double-spaced format so I can go over it with my red pen. The pages will bleed red ink, though, because I already know of three scenes that need to be rewritten. (Yeah, I changed the story two more times in the last week.) After this piece, I’m writing something totally for me. This piece was a request and I learned I don’t do requests very well.