A shorter version of this list has been making the rounds, but I found 3 more thoughts to make it an uneven 13.
Number 9 is my favorite because…well, I have a defective gene that allows me to enjoy–and sometimes greatly anticipate–Michael Bay’s movies. (Transformers 2 is only 539 days away!)
13 Thoughts to Ponder for 2008, 2009, 2010…
Life is sexually transmitted.
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day, teach a person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks.
Some people are like a Slinky: Not really good for anything, but you still can’t help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to Criticism.
Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200.00 and a substantial tax cut saves you $30.00?
In the 60’s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is Weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
The US government knows exactly where one cow with Mad-Cow disease is located among millions and millions of cows in America, but they haven’t got a clue as to where millions of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Perhaps they should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of Immigration.
Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 4 billion stars in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint you will have to touch it to be sure?
And the Number 1 Thought:
Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers: What you do today, might Burn Your Ass Tomorrow.
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