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TT #5: 13 Thoughts to Ponder for 2008, 2009, 2010…

2 Jan 2008

A shorter version of this list has been making the rounds, but I found 3 more thoughts to make it an uneven 13.

Number 9 is my favorite because…well, I have a defective gene that allows me to enjoy–and sometimes greatly anticipate–Michael Bay’s movies. (Transformers 2 is only 539 days away!)

13 Thoughts to Ponder for 2008, 2009, 2010…

Number 13
Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 12
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Number 11
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

Number 10
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day, teach a person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks.

Number 9
Some people are like a Slinky: Not really good for anything, but you still can’t help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.

Number 8
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Number 7
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to Criticism.

Number 6
Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200.00 and a substantial tax cut saves you $30.00?

Number 5
In the 60’s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is Weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

Number 4
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Number 3
The US government knows exactly where one cow with Mad-Cow disease is located among millions and millions of cows in America, but they haven’t got a clue as to where millions of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Perhaps they should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of Immigration.

Number 2
Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 4 billion stars in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint you will have to touch it to be sure?

And the Number 1 Thought:
Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers: What you do today, might Burn Your Ass Tomorrow.

16 Comments leave one →
  1. 2 Jan 2008 7:39 PM

    Fun list! Thanks for the laughter. I’ll remember the bit about making him a sandwich. God bless.

  2. 2 Jan 2008 9:29 PM

    I left the comment in the wrong place. I love the one about the slinky.

    The Pink Flamingo

  3. 2 Jan 2008 9:59 PM

    I’m going to definitely remember #7. πŸ™‚

    Happy TT!
    My Thursday Thirteen #6

  4. 2 Jan 2008 10:44 PM

    I love this list. I’ll keep those sandwiches ready for my hubby.

  5. 2 Jan 2008 11:29 PM

    I’m loving 9-10 and also 5. Though I suspect that the world has always been weird; but because there was no TV or internet, people could avoid knowing it!

  6. 2 Jan 2008 11:52 PM

    Hahah. These were great!

  7. 3 Jan 2008 12:34 AM

    I’ve seen a couple of these before, but sure got a good laugh. What makes these sayings so funny is that they are all true!!!
    Happy TT!

  8. 3 Jan 2008 4:20 AM

    These are great! #6 made me laugh. It’s so true!

  9. 3 Jan 2008 7:08 AM

    This is a great list. Number one sounds awful till you think about it!

  10. 3 Jan 2008 9:31 AM

    Why settle for a sandwich? I’m making him a feast! πŸ˜‰ This is a great TT!

  11. 3 Jan 2008 9:32 AM

    Jalapeno peppers, wooo!

  12. 3 Jan 2008 11:46 AM

    Oh my freaking god! I love this list – the WHOLE DAMNED THING!


  13. 3 Jan 2008 12:11 PM

    Brilliant list! And all of them are so true…

  14. 3 Jan 2008 3:55 PM

    Always great to smile while feeling sick. You made me forget about my cold for a while!

    Happy TT


  15. 4 Jan 2008 5:39 AM

    This is a great TT! LOL I love the one about the internet. How true.

  16. rofl.bubble.sweetarts. permalink
    1 Jun 2008 8:10 PM

    number 2 was the best one.

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