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TT #21: Words Women Use

25 Jun 2008

A guy forwarded this list to me. Go figure.

FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use “fine” to describe how a woman looks–this will cause you to have one of those arguments.

FIVE MINUTES
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your hockey game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it’s an even trade.

NOTHING
This means “something,” and you should be on your toes. “Nothing” is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. “Nothing” usually signifies an argument that will last “Five Minutes” and end with “Fine.”

GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows!)
This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over “Nothing” and will end with the word “Fine.”

GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows)
This means “I give up” or “do what you want because I don’t care.” You will get a “Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead” in just a few minutes, followed by “Nothing” and “Fine” and she will talk to you in about “Five Minutes” when she cools off.

LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is a nonverbal statement often misunderstood by men. A “Loud Sigh” means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over “Nothing.”

SOFT SIGH
Again, not a word, but a nonverbal statement. “Soft Sighs” mean that she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content.

THAT’S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. “That’s Okay” means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. “That’s Okay” is often used with the word “Fine” and in conjunction with a “Raised Eyebrow.”

GO AHEAD!
At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

PLEASE DO
This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn’t get a “That’s Okay” or “Really” (see below).

REALLY
This follows the excuse or reason you just offered and she’s not buying it.

THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say, “You’re welcome.”

THANKS A LOT
This is much different from “Thanks.” A woman will say “Thanks A Lot” when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way and will be followed by the “Loud Sigh.” Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the “Loud Sigh,” as she will only tell you “Nothing.”

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14 Comments leave one →
  1. 25 Jun 2008 5:31 PM

    Loud Sigh and Nothing are the sort of passive-aggressive garbage that start more arguments than they ever solve.

  2. 25 Jun 2008 5:50 PM

    Well…doesn’t that just give women a terrible name? Sad, but I know it’s true for most of us…::sigh:: 😉

    I hope I don’t do those things, though. I have definitely done the “nothing” before, but mostly it just means “I don’t want to talk about it! Stop asking!” which I always end up saying…

    Happy TT!

  3. 25 Jun 2008 6:50 PM

    Whoa. I’m sad to say I’ve turned into that woman. I’d better get to work on myself.

  4. 25 Jun 2008 6:59 PM

    Thank you for reminding me of why I love to hang out with guys and always have.

  5. 25 Jun 2008 7:20 PM

    Great list.

  6. 25 Jun 2008 7:41 PM

    You have a list that requires deep thoughts – maybe. Or am I just tired and can’t think?

    SJR
    The Pink Flamingo

  7. 25 Jun 2008 8:53 PM

    Oh, aren’t we the scary ones! Fun list!

  8. 26 Jun 2008 1:43 AM

    Funny list. Maybe next week you should post a list of words guys use and then send it to your friend.
    “Score.”
    Have a great Thursday!

  9. 26 Jun 2008 3:27 AM

    I want to be offended but I cant because I do this!

  10. 26 Jun 2008 6:03 AM

    The guys can’t win, can they? They don’t know the language. Good for several chuckles!

  11. 26 Jun 2008 9:13 AM

    In our house, it’s my husband whose “five minutes” means a half hour. My “five minutes” means more like 3. 🙂

  12. 26 Jun 2008 9:36 AM

    Neat list Hubby would agree to most of those, i am sure

    Mines up as well!
    Hubbys having a give away at his blog at http://www.valtool.blogspot.com

    Hope you will visit us both!

  13. 26 Jun 2008 1:35 PM

    Interesting 13. Mine is Eat, Drink and be Merry – 13 Last Words, Excerpt: Judaism instructs us to enjoy the simple gifts that God gives in the present world. Eat, drink and be merry. Enjoy this life, on this Earth, in this time. I have collected for your enjoyment the last words of some of our more famous fellow human beings involving food or drink before they died.

  14. 26 Jun 2008 2:19 PM

    Unfortunately I occassionally hear some of those words coming out of my mouth…but I try not…except the Soft Sigh…I’ll keep that one around!!

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