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How to Piss Off an Elevator Car of People

20 Nov 2008

Stranger 1:  Is it your birthday?

Me (look down at big slice of black forest cake and hot chocolate from Sunterra): No.

Stranger 1 (snickers):  That’s a healthy lunch.

Me:  It’s not my lunch.  I already ate lunch and am still hungry.  It’s a snack.

Stranger 1:  That’s more than I had for lunch!

Me:  I’m trying to put on weight.  Doctor’s orders.

Stranger 1 (looks me up and down):  My God.  That’s not fair.

Stranger 2:  You can have some of my weight.

Stranger 3:  She just has a high metabolism.

Me:  No, there’s a recessive fat gene in my family, but I exercise to make sure it stays recessive.

(Yes, I know biology doesn’t quite work that way, but those people were annoying me.)

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One Comment leave one →
  1. 19 Oct 2011 4:39 PM

    u stink

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