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CONTEST: How I Stay Employed for 2009

1 Jan 2009

Boss:  You did very well this year.

Me:  Really?

Boss:  You moved up in the rankings while on average everyone moved down.  You’re still not where I think you should be, but we’ll get you there next year.  I’ll fight for you because I want to keep you.

Me (frowning):  Hmm.  What does that mean for my raise?

Boss:  Your monthly salary will be [insert amount] in 2009.  That’s a 9% increase.

Me:  So that’s [insert amount x 12].

Boss looks confused.

Me:  Annually.

Boss:  Oh.

Me:  It’s simple math, not rocket science.

Boss looks impressed, as he did the first time I calculated a bunch of numbers in my head in the time it took him to locate a calculator.  (Cashiers hate me since I usually know when they fat-finger something on the till because the total amount doesn’t match the number in my head.)

Meanwhile, I mull over my 2009 annual salary, frown, then shrug.

Me:  You know, in this economic environment, I would’ve been happy with just keeping my job.

Boss laughs a little nervously.  (He still doesn’t quite know quite how to handle me.):  But you really deserve the raise. Your performance is very impressive, especially considering your predecessor…

Me:  Oh, I’m not turning down the 9%.

Boss:  Good, because you can’t.

Me:  Anything else you need to tell me?

Boss:  There is one thing you can do to improve for next year.

Me:  What’s that?

Boss:  Stop calling senior management idiots.

Me:  Oops.

Boss:  At least out loud.

What’s your resolution for 2009?  A random commenter will win…something.  Contest is open to everyone and closes January 31, 2009 at 5 PM MST.

5 Comments leave one →
  1. azteclady permalink
    2 Jan 2009 10:43 AM

    (Congrats on the raise)

    Well, I’ve resolved to make a quicker transition from “worst case scenario” to “solution/silver lining” whenever something goest wonky. Mind, I already do it, it just takes a bit.

  2. Jane permalink
    2 Jan 2009 3:18 PM

    My resolution was to eat healthier, but I haven’t started to follow through yet.

  3. Carol Thompson permalink
    10 Jan 2009 2:58 PM

    I don’t like resolutions because I think one should not only undertake things once a year.

    I think the best resolution one can make is to do so many needed things during the year, that when it comes to New Year all you need to resolve is to keep on as you are doing.


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